High Conflict Strategies
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Conflict Resolution and the Declaration of Independence
For the 250th anniversary, Bill Eddy on the conflict-resolution skills and compromises behind the Declaration of Independence — a committee effort.
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Conflict Resolution Training for Professionals
A guide for attorneys, therapists, mediators, HR, and leaders: what high-conflict training teaches, the formats available, and how to choose the right program.
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From Incivility to High Conflict: Building a More Prepared Workplace
Workplace incivility is rising and costing organizations billions. Megan Hunter on the 5% problem and HCI's new year-long Corporate Partnership program.
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7 Ways Kids Absorb Parents' Emotions in Divorce
7 Ways Children’s Brains Absorb Their Parents’ Emotions in Divorce(And What You Can Do About It) © 2026 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Divorce is a stressful time…
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Setting Limits in Divorce and Divorce Court
Setting Limits in Divorce and Divorce Court © 2026 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. January each year appears to be divorce month. Unhappy couples who have stayed…
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4 Simple Techniques for Managing Conflict – Anywhere! (Including High Conflict Disputes)
4 Simple Techniques for Managing Conflict – Anywhere! (Including High Conflict Disputes) © 2025 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Conflict happens. It can be over a…
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The Epstein Case: A Failure to Impose Consequences on Abusive Behavior
The Epstein Case A Failure to Impose Consequences on Abusive Behavior © 2025 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Ekaterina Ricci, MDR, MLS Politics aside, the case of…
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Just Launched: A New Way to Support Your Clients in High-Conflict Situations
Just Launched: A New Way to Support Your Clients in High-Conflict Situations Support Your Clients Navigating High Conflict RelationshipsIf you work with…
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Why Is It So Hard to Leave Abusive Relationships? (And What Can Be Done To Help?)
Why Is It So Hard to Leave Abusive Relationships? (And What Can Be Done To Help?) © 2025 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. “Why didn’t you just leave?” is one of the…
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AI and the BIFF Response®: Who Writes Your Emails?
AI and the BIFF Response® Who Should Write Your Emails, Texts, and Letters? © 2025 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. As the Director of Innovation for the High Conflict…
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Responding to the “Bully’s Story” in Families, at Work, in Court, or Anywhere
Responding to the “Bully’s Story”in Families, at Work, in Court, or Anywhere © 2025 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. One of the main differences between child bullies…
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Personality Disorder Discrimination by Mediators: A Rebuttal
Rebuttal to the Article: “ENDING THE EPIDEMIC OF ACCIDENTALPERSONALITY DISORDER DISCRIMINATION BY WELL-MEANING MEDIATORS”[1] © 2025 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.[2]…
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Recognizing True and False Allegations of Abuse
Recognizing True and False Allegations of Abuse © 2025 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. High conflict situations—whether in families, at work, in communities, or…
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Negative Advocates: How They (We) Become Emotionally Hooked
Negative Advocates: How They (We) Become Emotionally Hooked © 2025 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. High conflict disputes usually involve one or more people with a…
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Unlock Your Inner Peacemaker by Accessing Your Calm Self
Unlock Your Inner Peacemaker by Accessing Your Calm Self © 2024 by Cherolyn Knapp, B.Comm, LLB.B, Q.Med We've all experienced those moments when emotions take…
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Protecting the Elderly in Our New World of Adult Bullies
Protecting the Elderly in Our New World of Adult Bullies © 2024 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. In this holiday season, there is much family joy to go around as we…
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Fostering Flexibility: Tips for developing flexible thinking skills
Fostering Flexibility: Tips for developing flexible thinking skills © 2024 by Cherolyn Knapp, B.Comm, LLB.B, Q.Med Do you ever have to interact with someone…
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Are We Being too Nice with High Conflict Behavior?
Are We Being too Nice with High Conflict Behavior? © 2024 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Most professionals are nice people committed to helping their clients and…
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How to Avoid Getting Hooked by High Conflict Behavior
High-conflict behavior has an intensity that grabs your attention and pulls you in. Learn to recognize the hooks and stay calm and in control.
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Addressing the Bully in the Room: High Conflict Personalities in Workplace Investigations
Workplace conflict is nothing new. But for employers, undertaking workplace investigations is a relatively new – and highly prevalent – practice. A large proportion of workplace conflicts include at least one person exhibiting traits of a high conflict personality. This raises the question of how an investigator can be equipped to run a fair and effective process, despite the challenges presented by high conflict personalities.
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Truck Convoy Protest in Ottawa: A Missed Opportunity for High Conflict Resolution?
Truck Convoy Protest in Ottawa: A Missed Opportunity for High Conflict Resolution?©2023 Cherolyn Knapp, B.Comm, LL.B, Q.MedIn this time that some say is…
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Should Employees with High-Conflict Behaviors Be Given a Chance to Change?
Should Employees With High-Conflict Behaviors Be Given a Chance to Change?©2022 Megan Hunter, MBAIs it advisable to keep an employee with high-conflict…
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High Conflict in the Schools: Tips for Teachers and Parents
High Conflict in the Schools: Tips for Teachers and Parents©2022 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.In the world of high conflict there's always something new—almost! Now…
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Emotions are Contagious: From Child Alienation to Workplace Bullying to World Anxiety
Emotions are Contagious: From Child Alienation to Workplace Bullying to World Anxiety©2022 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.In many ways, the world runs on emotions. We…
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EAR Statements Can Calm Clients and Anyone, Especially in Today’s World
EAR Statements Can Calm Clients and Anyone, Especially in Today’s World©2021 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.We all need empathy, attention, and respect—especially in…
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"Fast Facts" for Professionals: 3 Ways an EAR Statement Can Calm Clients
“Fast Facts” for Professionals:3 Ways an EAR Statement™ Can Calm Clients©2021 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Professionals and businesses are facing more and more…
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An Interview with Bill Eddy: Calming Upset People with EAR
An Interview with Bill Eddy: Calming Upset People with EAR©2021 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. 1. What does “EAR” stand for and why did you develop it?EAR stands for…
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Tips for Family Law Professionals
Tips for Family Law Professionals©2021 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. & Susie Rayner, GradDip FDRPNew Ways Manager, Susie Rayner, and HCI Co-founder, Bill Eddy, LCSW,…
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How to Quickly Spot High-Conflict People
How to Quickly Spot High-Conflict People ©2020 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.High-conflict people (HCPs) have high-conflict personalities. This means they have an…
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A Method for Managing Police-Community Relations
<p class=""></p><p class="">Policing in America is being re-evaluated in the wake of the killing of George Floyd, Black Lives Matters protests. One aspect is a call for improved training for police. The following are some skills we have taught in law enforcement trainings and are currently offering to police departments anywhere. They are also skills that everyone could benefit from learning.</p><p class=""> </p>
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7 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People During this Crisis
7 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People During This Crisis©2020 Bill Eddy, LCSW, EsqHow are you doing during this homebound coronavirus crisis? We hope you’re…
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Can High-Conflict People Change?
Can High Conflict People Change? ©2019 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. This is an increasingly important question in many areas of modern life, including in love…
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Who Are High Conflict People?
High-conflict people share four traits: all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, extreme behavior, and blaming others. Learn how to recognize them.
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Handling High Conflict Situations During the Holidays
©2018 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Holidays at any time of year can be a time of fun and visiting with family and friends. But it also can be a combustible mix of…
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Using the CARS Method® to Deal with High Conflict People and Situations
©2018 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Have you noticed that high-conflict people (HCPs) and high-conflict behavior are rapidly increasing in today’s interconnected…
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Spotting Dangerous Clients in 3 Steps
©2018 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Family law professionals were shaken to the core by the murders of 6 people by an angry ex-husband in Arizona.The victims included…
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Improving Conflict Management Skills Will Strengthen Sobriety
©2018 L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSW In my new book, Paradigm Change: The Collective Wisdom of Recovery, I discuss the importance of improving our conflict…
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How to Spot High Conflict People (before it's too late to avoid them)
©2018 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.High-conflict people (HCPs) have high-conflict personalities. This means they have an ongoing pattern of all-or-nothing thinking,…
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Anybody You Know? Predictable Characteristics of High Conflict People
©2018 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. For the past twenty years I have been studying and teaching about high-conflict people (HCPs) and how to manage them in legal…
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Quickly Identifying High Conflict with the WEB Method®
<p>In my newest book, <em>5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life,</em> I introduce the WEB Method for quickly identifying them before they do too much harm.</p>
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4 Mistakes to Avoid When Dealing with Difficult People
©2017 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Difficult people – we call them high conflict personalities - have a pattern of negative behavior with four primary…
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How to Deal with an Interrogator
©2017 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. I have been asked to give some suggestions for dealing with a parent who constantly interrogates the children and the spouse like…
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5 Tips for Setting Boundaries in Relationships
5 Tips for Setting Boundaries in Relationships ©2017 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. We continue to get requests for suggestions for setting boundaries in…
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You Know You're Taking It Personally When…
©2009 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. When you are involved with a High Conflict Person (HCP) whether personally or professionally, you have experienced how easy it is…
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Three Theories of the High-Conflict Legal Case
©2017 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.High conflict cases can be very confusing because it isn’t always clear which party is responsible for it becoming a high-conflict…
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If Empathy Is King, Are Boundaries It's Queen With HCPs?
©2017 Megan Hunter, MBA In a previous article in which I crowned EMPATHY as king when dealing with high-conflict personalities—those folks who are the most…
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Adapt Your Strategy with High-Conflict People — or Quit
©2016 Megan Hunter, MBA High conflict cases in the courts and high-conflict personalities (HCPs) in the workplace get a lot of play these days and we're seeing…
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Why Is Being A Target of Blame So Stressful?
©2016 Megan Hunter, MBA Whether you're in a dispute with your brother, classmate, work colleague, spouse or even someone you don't know, conflict is stressful.…
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How to Spot & Avoid the Worst Times to Engage with a Difficult Person
©2012 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. We all have dealings with high conflict people, in our families, at work and in our communities. They often catch us by surprise…
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De-escalating High Conflict Situations in 4 Steps
Four practical steps for de-escalating high-conflict situations and calming people with high-conflict personalities, drawn from HCI's CARS Method®.
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7 Steps to Tackle Organizational “Splitting”
7 Steps to Tackle Organizational “Splitting”Why it happens. What you can do.© 2016 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSW Organizational splitting…
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Need to Set Limits With a High Conflict Person? Give 'Em Your EAR®.
<p>When dealing with high-conflict people in close relationships or at work, it is especially important to set limits on their unrestrained aggressive behavior, yet to do it in a way that doesn’t make things worse.</p>
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Keep the Conflict Small! (With Managed Emotions)
© 2015 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Whether you’re having an argument with a family member, friend or co-worker, it’s easy nowadays to make little conflicts way too…
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New Ways for Work®: A New Coaching Method
© 2015 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. & L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSW High Conflict Institute offers a brand-new coaching method for managing difficult employees and…
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Difficult Person or High Conflict Person? - HCP is Not a Diagnosis
<p>I recommend having a “Private Working Theory” that someone may be an HCP. You DON’T tell the person and you don’t assume you are right. </p>
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I Don't Have Time for This! - Dealing with Stressful People and Situations
<p>"The next time you are aware of your stress and feel overwhelmed take the risk and do what appears to be counter-intuitive."</p>
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Three Theories of Your Case
© 2015 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.We live in an age of easy allegations and elusive truths. We all frequently get sucked into other people’s conflicts in which…
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Communicating with High Conflict People - From “Fuhgeddaboudit” to “What’s Your Proposal?”
© 2015 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.High Conflict People (HCPs) tend to have a pattern of self-defeating and upsetting behavior. Generally, this pattern includes:A…
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The CARS Method® for Resolving High Conflict Situations
The CARS Method® is Bill Eddy and Georgi DiStefano's four-part framework — Connecting, Analyzing, Responding, and Setting limits — for resolving high-conflict situations.
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How to respond when someone attacks you publicly
© 2015 Trissan DicomesHow do I defend myself? Say your coworker fires off another nasty email accusing you of dressing sloppily. She goes on and on about how…
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Can You Coach High Conflict People to Change?
© 2015 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSW The answer, of course, is “it depends.” This article explains some of the factors that have helped…
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Guilt, Shame, and Focusing on the Future
© 2015 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. It’s common to have feelings of guilt and shame when going through a separation or divorce – whether you initiated the…
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Can You Get a Difficult Person to Change?
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. “Just get over it,” I remember the judge saying in court to a divorced man and woman, who had returned to court for the…
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The Trouble with Making Decisions
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.The following is an excerpt from the book: The Future of Family Court: Structure, Skills and Less StressThe Trouble with Making…
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Proposals and BIFF: Two Simple Methods for Mediating With a High-Conflict Person
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.A generation ago, most family law clients went to court for dividing debts and property and to decide issues about the children.…
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The Secret to Understanding Why Some People Are Always MAD
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. We all have to deal with it sometimes: A waiter acts as if you’re an inconvenience. Someone flips you off on the highway. You…
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The Most Annoying Thing About Difficult People and What You Can Do About It
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Let’s say you recently started job. Everything went smoothly and you felt like you were fitting in, but you noticed that other…
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Why Healing is Hard for High-Conflict People
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.“Just get over it,” I remember the judge saying in court to a divorced man and woman, who had returned to court for the…
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Students Should Learn They’re NOT Special!
© 2013 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Each year I teach a 2-weekend course at Pepperdine University’s School of Law at their Strauss Institute for Dispute Resolution.…
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The 90% Rule
© 2013 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. From my experience as a lawyer, mediator and therapist – as well as reading a lot of research – I believe that at least 10% of…
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Calm Yourself with Encouraging Statements
<p>When we’re real upset, it’s hard to solve problems. That’s because the problem-solving parts of our brain shut down when we’re real angry, afraid or otherwise defensive.</p>
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Times of High Risk with High Conflict People
© 2012 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. We all have dealings with high-conflict people, in our families, at work and in our communities. They often catch us by…
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Beware of HCPs Who Are Persuasive Blamers
© 2012 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. [Excerpted from It's All Your Fault!] Instead of adapting to their social group and current environment, HCPs try to get others…
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Compassion for High Conflict People
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.As the year draws to a close and we focus on holiday celebrations, wethink about others including the less fortunate. All year…
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Excerpt: It's All Your Fault : Arbitration
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Arbitration Arbitration is a more formal dispute resolution process. It’s built into the power structure for many…
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Personality Patterns: Myers Briggs vs. High Conflict Personalities
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.For the past three years I have been teaching a law school class at Pepperdine University’s Strauss Institute of Dispute…
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Managing a Blamer with an Assertive Approach
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Excerpted from Splitting... ...After the hearing, the judge ordered Sam and Sarah into a custody evaluation, and awardedSam…
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HCPs and Personality Disorders
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Not all people with personality disorders are HCPs, because many of those with personality disorders are not preoccupied with…
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Personality Disorders Appear To Be Increasing
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Recent research suggests that more and more people are growing up with personality disorders. This may explain why there appears…
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How to Respond to Blamespeak
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. BIFF: Responding to Blamespeak Many people initially react to Blamespeak with Blamespeak of their own (“counter Blamespeak”) –…
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Talking To The Right Brain In A Conflict
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.One of the biggest tasks for dispute resolvers in any setting is calming highly-upset people enough to focus them on problem…
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HCP is Not a Diagnosis
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.For over a decade I have been writing and teaching about HCPs (“High Conflict Personalities” or “High Conflict People”) in legal…
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New Ways for Mediation℠
© 2009 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Mediating high-conflict disputes requires a more structured process than that used in most ordinary conflicts. This is especially…
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Keeping Your Cool Response
By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.The same approach applies to high conflict professionals. Don’t take their behavior personally. Don’t engage when you can avoid it. Get…
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Reigning In The Adversarial Process Response
By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Thank you for your feedback on my book. I’m glad it was helpful. My emphasis is on problem-solving rather than making “judgments” of…
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Definitions Related to High Conflict Personalities
© 2007 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. The following are some of the common terms used in the family law community by mental health and legal professionals. The terms…
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How To Write A BIFF Response®
Use the BIFF method — Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm — to write calm responses to hostile emails and texts. Step-by-step examples from Bill Eddy.