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May 1, 2025 · 9 min read
Violence and Mental Health
© 2022 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JDWe live in an age of overlap between legal and mental health problems. It is frequently said that there are more people with…
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Aug 8, 2024
Six “Opposites” Skills for Influencing Conflict
"Opposites" Skills for Influencing Conflict © 2024 by Megan Hunter, MBA Navigating conflicts, especially high-conflict situations, is undoubtedly emotionally…
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Aug 3, 2024
New Ways for Work®Leaders Course Delivers Immediate Impact
New Ways For Work® - Leaders Course Delivers Immediate Impact © 2024 by Cherolyn Knapp, B.Comm, LLB.B, Q.Med I had the pleasure of piloting HCI’s brand new…
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Aug 2, 2024 · 11 min read
How to Build a Team: 7 Relationship Skills for Managers
How to Build a Team 7 Relationship Skills for Managers and Other Leaders © 2024 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. In today's world, building and strengthening a team in…
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Jul 10, 2024 · 8 min read
Is Total Freedom the Goal?
Setting Boundaries: Is Total Freedom the Goal? © 2024 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Setting Boundaries in Relationships at Home, at Work and Online As we celebrate…
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Jun 14, 2024 · 6 min read
How Adult Bullies Find and Encourage Each Other on Social Media
How Adult Bullies Find and Encourage Each Other on Social Media © 2024 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Adult bullies have traditionally been kept on the fringes of…
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Jun 14, 2024 · 6 min read
Turning the Tide on Toxic Teams: Introducing New Ways for Work®—Leaders Training
Turning the Tide on Toxic Teams: Introducing New Ways for Work®—Leaders Course © 2024 by Cherolyn Knapp, B. Comm, Q.Med Have you ever found yourself leading a…
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Jun 14, 2024
The Dangerous Bias in Fabulous Reports
The Dangerous Bias in Fabulous Reports © 2024 Jenni McBride McNamara, LMFT, PC Intro from Bill Eddy This month we have a great article about how to write…
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May 21, 2024 · 10 min read
SLIC Solutions: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2 ½ Steps
SLIC Solutions: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2 ½ Steps © 2024 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD We live in a rapidly changing world, with rules and…
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May 14, 2024
Microbiome and “Gut Feeling” in High Conflict Behavior
Microbiome and “Gut Feeling” in High Conflict Behavior © 2024 by Ekaterina Ricci, MDR The relationship between mental disorders and gut microbiome has become a…
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Apr 22, 2024
Domestic Violence and Personality Disorders: What’s the Connection?
Domestic Violence and Personality Disorders: What’s the Connection? © 2024 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. When I first had clients who were victim/survivors of…
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Nov 9, 2021
EAR Statements Can Calm Clients and Anyone, Especially in Today’s World
EAR Statements Can Calm Clients and Anyone, Especially in Today’s World©2021 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.We all need empathy, attention, and respect—especially in…
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Sep 16, 2021
"Fast Facts" for Professionals: 3 Ways an EAR Statement Can Calm Clients
“Fast Facts” for Professionals:3 Ways an EAR Statement™ Can Calm Clients©2021 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Professionals and businesses are facing more and more…
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Jul 27, 2021
Tips for Family Law Professionals
Tips for Family Law Professionals©2021 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. & Susie Rayner, GradDip FDRPNew Ways Manager, Susie Rayner, and HCI Co-founder, Bill Eddy, LCSW,…
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Apr 14, 2020
7 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People During this Crisis
7 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People During This Crisis©2020 Bill Eddy, LCSW, EsqHow are you doing during this homebound coronavirus crisis? We hope you’re…
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Feb 19, 2020
Understanding Polarization in Families, Groups, and Nations
Understanding Polarization in Families, Groups, and Nations ©2020 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.There is much talk today about polarization. Ironically, few people put…
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Aug 13, 2019
HCPs and Violence
©2019 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Recent news of mass shootings has made everyone more anxious and fearful that it could, in fact, “happen here.” The search is on for…
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Jul 17, 2019
Writing BIFF Responses to High Conflict People When You Don’t Feel Like It
©2019 Megan Hunter, MBAReceiving an email, text or letter can put a dent in your day when it contains a zinger. It can get right under your skin and ruin your…
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Feb 19, 2019
Walls, Wars and Parades: Understanding Narcissistic Leaders
©2019 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. WALLS: Dividing people into winners and losers.WARS: Highly defensive, the slightest criticism may send them into battle.PARADES:…
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Dec 10, 2018
Narcissism and Incivility: Is There a Connection?
©2018 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Did you ever wonder where incivility comes from? Is it always what someone else is doing? It seems to have spread far and wide over…
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Nov 14, 2018
Handling High Conflict Situations During the Holidays
©2018 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Holidays at any time of year can be a time of fun and visiting with family and friends. But it also can be a combustible mix of…
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Aug 30, 2018
Using the CARS Method® to Deal with High Conflict People and Situations
©2018 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Have you noticed that high-conflict people (HCPs) and high-conflict behavior are rapidly increasing in today’s interconnected…
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Jul 22, 2018
Spotting Dangerous Clients in 3 Steps
©2018 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Family law professionals were shaken to the core by the murders of 6 people by an angry ex-husband in Arizona.The victims included…
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Feb 15, 2018
How to Spot High Conflict People (before it's too late to avoid them)
©2018 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.High-conflict people (HCPs) have high-conflict personalities. This means they have an ongoing pattern of all-or-nothing thinking,…
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Dec 13, 2017
4 Mistakes to Avoid When Dealing with Difficult People
©2017 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Difficult people – we call them high conflict personalities - have a pattern of negative behavior with four primary…
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Nov 6, 2017
Tips on Offering Mediation to a High Conflict Employee
©2017 Michael Lomax, JDImagine you are a manager, and you have a supervisor who reports to you who is dealing with an employee with high conflict traits. There…
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Sep 5, 2017
5 Tips for Setting Boundaries in Relationships
5 Tips for Setting Boundaries in Relationships ©2017 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. We continue to get requests for suggestions for setting boundaries in…
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Jun 21, 2017
You Know You're Taking It Personally When…
©2009 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. When you are involved with a High Conflict Person (HCP) whether personally or professionally, you have experienced how easy it is…
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Apr 18, 2017
When Helping Hurts - How Professionals Become Negative Advocates - Or Not
©2017 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Most professionals are helping professionals. We like to help our clients as lawyers, mediators, therapists, arbitrators, social…
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Apr 8, 2017
A Respectful Meeting Policy
©2017 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and L. Georgi DiStefano As high conflict personalities appear to be increasing in society and the workplace, we are hearing more…
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Apr 5, 2017
Civility and the Surge Protector
<p>"Maybe we don’t need relationships anymore. Maybe we can say and do anything we want with other people – in other words incivility has no cost and is easier than putting a surge protector on ourselves."</p>
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Feb 25, 2017
Should Workplace Conflicts use Mediation?
©2017 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSWMediators are being increasingly asked to help resolve workplace conflicts in a peaceful,…
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Jan 19, 2017
How to Reply to Angry Texts & Emails – 5 BIFF Response® Examples
©2017 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Dealing with High Conflict People and their irate communications can leave you at a loss for words. The BIFF Response® Method helps…
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Nov 21, 2016
Calming Holiday Conflicts
Calming Holiday Conflicts ©2016 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.When family and friends gather for this holiday season, it can be a time of joy—and conflict. This year,…
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Oct 10, 2016
High Conflict Personalities in Employment Cases
©2016 John C. Edwards, Esq.It is expected and understood by most people in the legal profession that because of the intensely personal nature of the issues…
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Sep 29, 2016
Narcissists as Leaders: Good or Bad for Your Organization?
©2013 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Whether in business, politics or workgroups, there is a natural tendency to select narcissistic leaders. They are attracted to…
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Sep 22, 2016
How to Spot & Avoid the Worst Times to Engage with a Difficult Person
©2012 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. We all have dealings with high conflict people, in our families, at work and in our communities. They often catch us by surprise…
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Sep 5, 2016
3 Do’s and Don’ts to Manage High-Conflict People at Work
©2016 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. & L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSW Dealing with high conflict people (HCPs) in the workplace presents a variety of challenges. The good…
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Aug 15, 2016
Fire or Keep High-Conflict Employees?
©2016 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. & L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSWFor the past several years, dealing with difficult co-workers has been at the top of employee and…
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Jul 6, 2016
6 Ways You Should Be Assertive in Family Court
© 2016 Bill Eddy, LCSW, EsqFamily court presents a difficult dilemma for reasonable people. If you act reasonably and use the cooperative problem-solving…
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May 25, 2016
Are Your Personality Awareness Skills Up to Date?
Are Your Personality Awareness Skills Up to Date?© 2016 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. & L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSW Whether you’re choosing a friend, getting married,…
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Apr 10, 2016
7 Steps to Tackle Organizational “Splitting”
7 Steps to Tackle Organizational “Splitting”Why it happens. What you can do.© 2016 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSW Organizational splitting…
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Jan 30, 2016
Need to Set Limits With a High Conflict Person? Give 'Em Your EAR®.
<p>When dealing with high-conflict people in close relationships or at work, it is especially important to set limits on their unrestrained aggressive behavior, yet to do it in a way that doesn’t make things worse.</p>
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Nov 11, 2015
New Ways for Work®: A New Coaching Method
© 2015 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. & L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSW High Conflict Institute offers a brand-new coaching method for managing difficult employees and…
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Nov 4, 2015
Difficult Person or High Conflict Person? - HCP is Not a Diagnosis
<p>I recommend having a “Private Working Theory” that someone may be an HCP. You DON’T tell the person and you don’t assume you are right. </p>
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Sep 16, 2015
I Don't Have Time for This! - Dealing with Stressful People and Situations
<p>"The next time you are aware of your stress and feel overwhelmed take the risk and do what appears to be counter-intuitive."</p>
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Aug 17, 2015 · 10 min read
Three Theories of Your Case
© 2015 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.We live in an age of easy allegations and elusive truths. We all frequently get sucked into other people’s conflicts in which…
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Aug 12, 2015
Narcissists As Leaders
© 2015 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Georgi DiStefano, LCSW[Excerpt from Chapter 3 of the Axiom award-winning book It’s All Your Fault at Work: Managing…
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Aug 3, 2015 · 8 min read
Red Flags: Spotting High-Conflict Clients in Legal Cases
© 2015 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Most attorneys know that there are potential high conflict clients out there who can make your life miserable with numerous…
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Apr 8, 2015
Are High Conflict People Ruining Your Business?
© 2015 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. & L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSW[Originally published by Capital Business, a subsidiary of the Washington Post, in March 2015]Are…
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Apr 3, 2015
1,000 Little Bricks Can Build a Wall of Child Alienation
© 2015 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Excerpted from the book Don't Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce by Bill Eddy,…
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Feb 4, 2015
Groundhog Day on the Job: Dealing with High Conflict Co-Workers
© 2015 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. A surprising occurrence for many individuals in the workplace is the notion of Groundhog Day when dealing with someone who may…
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Jan 20, 2015
Setting the Agenda (For Meetings That Include Potentially High-Conflict People)
© 2015 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSWWhether you are a manager developing the agenda for a team meeting, a mediator or lawyer setting…
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Jan 15, 2015
Why They Don’t Get It?
Why Don't They Get It?© 2015 By L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSW and Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.It’s so aggravating! No matter what you say or do, that certain employee is…
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Jan 13, 2015 · 4 min read
What Baseball Can Teach Us At Work
© 2015 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSWAs both therapists and attorney, we have spoken with hundreds of clients over the years. From…
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Oct 22, 2014
Should I Just Let Go?
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.This blog is dedicated to coping with difficult communications and High-Conflict People. All too often, parents get caught up in…
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Sep 24, 2014 · 7 min read
7 Tips for Managing Your Narcissistic Boss
Dealing with a narcissistic boss? Bill Eddy shares 7 practical tips for managing a high-conflict manager while protecting your job — and your sanity.
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Sep 17, 2014 · 6 min read
Hiring a Divorce Lawyer Who Understands High Conflict
©2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Excerpt from Chapter 7: Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality…
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Sep 3, 2014
Living with a Histrionic Personality: Do’s and Don’ts
Theatrical, dramatic, exaggerated — recognize histrionic personality patterns and learn practical do's and don'ts for living with one, from Bill Eddy.
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Aug 29, 2014
Living with an Antisocial Personality: Do’s and Don’ts
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.You can learn to coexist with a person with an Antisocial High Conflict Personality by following these and other tips. HAVE YOU…
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Aug 21, 2014
Do's and Don'ts for Living with a Borderline
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. You can learn to coexist with a person with a Borderline High Conflict Personality by following these and other tips. DO YOU…
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Aug 12, 2014
Do's and Don'ts for Living with a Narcissist
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.You can learn to coexist with a Narcissist by following these and other tips.ARE YOU INVOLVED WITH THIS PERSON?Comes off as…
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Aug 6, 2014
Quick Tips for Controlling Communications with a Hostile Ex
© 2914 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Divorce, separation or ending any relationship is tough. It just plain hurts and it can be hard to eat, sleep, work or focus. If…
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Oct 29, 2013
Workplace Bullying – Against the Law?
© 2013 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. When I was recently in Australia, I had the opportunity to give a seminar in Canberra (the nation’s capital) about the dynamics…
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Jun 20, 2013
Skills Before Decisions: Can Difficult Clients Learn Decision-Making Skills?
© 2013 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.This article proposes some solutions to recent concerns raised by family lawyers, counselors, mediators and judges. How do we…
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Dec 22, 2012 · 3 min read
How to Survive the Holidays with an Antisocial Relative
© 2012 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.[excerpted from It's All Your Fault! by Bill Eddy] Don’t Get ConnedWhile Antisocial “Con Artists” are the best at lying and…
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Aug 28, 2012 · 9 min read
Splitting at Work: How High-Conflict People Divide Teams
How high-conflict colleagues split workplaces into 'allies' and 'enemies' — and what managers and HR can do to stop the damage. From Bill Eddy.
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Jul 4, 2012
It’s All Your Fault – At Work!
© 2012 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Have you noticed more people engaging in “high conflict” behavior these days at work? A customer in a store yells loudly at a…
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Jun 11, 2012 · 4 min read
4 Dilemmas in Family Court
4 Dilemmas in Family Court© 2012 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.I am writing this in response to a blog comment which raises some important concerns about family…
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Mar 11, 2012 · 4 min read
Managing High Conflict People in Court
BEFORE YOU GO TO COURT© 2012 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, ESQ Make Sure You Have Realistic ExpectationsIn Court, the judge or jury will never really know what is going…
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Jan 19, 2012
BIFFs for Business and Professions
© 2012 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Excerpted from BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns…
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Oct 18, 2011
Building A Team Against The Problem
© 2011 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Whether you are a manager, mediator, lawyer or other type of professional dispute resolver, one of the common problems you face…
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Sep 1, 2011
Incivility in the Workplace: A Growing Problem
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Times have changed. Incivility is growing in the workplace, as well as in most areas of our society. How big of a problem is…
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Feb 18, 2011
High Conflict People, Loss and Violence
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Family law attorneys and clients are grieving the shooting deaths two days ago (Feb. 16) of Judy Soley, CFLS and Sandra…
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Feb 1, 2011
Calming Upset People with EAR
© 2011 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD Everyone gets upset some of the time. High conflict people get upset a lot of the time. A simple technique called an EAR…
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Aug 2, 2010
Can Narcissists Share Parenting?
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. In my last blog, I asked the same question about people with borderline personalities. Borderlines and narcissists seem to be…
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Feb 18, 2010
High Conflict People and Workplace Violence
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Now we have another workplace shooting incident to analyze. This one apparently by a female faculty member at the University of…
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Apr 20, 2009
Con Artists at Work on Wall Street
© 2009 Megan L. Hunter, MBA Reports of financial fraud on Wall Street causing losses in the millions for many Americans have been front and center recently.…
