Technique: Using Proposals with High-Conflict People
Every suggestion you make gets met with anger, criticism, or an explanation of why it will fail? This 1-hour course teaches a simple, innovative technique that shifts a high-conflict or upset person from complaining to problem-solving, built around three allowed answers: Yes, No, or I'll think about it.
Your instructor
Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
Co-founder & Chief Innovation Officer, High Conflict Institute
500,000+
professionals trained worldwide
The blame game has no exit, unless you install one.
In a dispute with a high-conflict person, discussing the past invites blame, and blame invites defense, indefinitely. Proposals flip the frame: instead of debating what went wrong, one person proposes what happens next, and the other answers Yes, No, or I'll think about it. It stops the blame game in about 30 seconds and puts both people to work on the future.
Outcomes you'll bring back from Using Proposals with High-Conflict People.
- Use proposals to move any dispute from the past to the future.
- Apply the "Yes, No, or I'll think about it" response structure.
- Stop complaining and nitpicking loops in about 30 seconds.
- Guide clients or parties to make proposals instead of criticisms.
- Respond to a proposal you disagree with, without reigniting the fight.
- Fold the technique into your existing negotiation or mediation practice.
Who Using Proposals with High-Conflict People is built for.
Mediators
The core move for keeping high-conflict mediations on the future instead of the past.
Lawyers
Convert client complaints and opposing-party attacks into negotiable positions.
Therapists & Counselors
A concrete skill to teach clients stuck in blame cycles.
Supervisors & Managers
Redirect workplace complaints into proposals you can actually act on.
Coaches & Educators
Teach families and teams a structure for resolving their own disputes.
Anyone Negotiating
If your suggestions get shot down on arrival, proposals change the dynamic.
How Using Proposals with High-Conflict People is delivered.
A 1-hour on-demand video course. Watch once, then use the structure in your very next heated discussion.
Methods taught in Using Proposals with High-Conflict People.
Making Proposals
Who does what, when, and where: turning a complaint into a concrete picture of what happens next.
"Yes, No, or I'll Think About It"
Three allowed answers that keep the discussion on the future and off the attack.
Responding to Proposals
How to disagree and counter-propose without reopening the blame game.
Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is an international expert on managing disputes involving people with high-conflict personalities. He is the author or co-author of more than 25 books, manuals, and workbooks, co-host of the podcast It's All Your Fault!, and writes a Psychology Today blog with millions of views.
Before co-founding HCI, Bill was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a licensed clinical social worker therapist with twelve years of experience. He has served on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law, taught as a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia, and trained professionals in over 35 U.S. states and 13 countries.
Using Proposals with High-Conflict People — frequently asked questions.
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Enroll an individual seat now, or talk to us about a private cohort designed around your organization's actual cases.
