Divorce & Coparenting
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High-Conflict Co-Parenting Classes: A Practical Guide
Court-ordered or by choice, high-conflict co-parenting classes teach skills to protect your kids. Here's how they work and how to choose the right one.
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How to Communicate With a High-Conflict Ex
Communicating with a high-conflict ex can feel like a trap. Practical rules — including the BIFF method — to keep exchanges calm, brief, and child-focused.
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7 Ways Kids Absorb Parents' Emotions in Divorce
7 Ways Children’s Brains Absorb Their Parents’ Emotions in Divorce(And What You Can Do About It) © 2026 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Divorce is a stressful time…
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Setting Limits in Divorce and Divorce Court
Setting Limits in Divorce and Divorce Court © 2026 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. January each year appears to be divorce month. Unhappy couples who have stayed…
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Is Total Freedom the Goal?
Setting Boundaries: Is Total Freedom the Goal? © 2024 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Setting Boundaries in Relationships at Home, at Work and Online As we celebrate…
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Can Children Make Independent Decisions in Dysfunctional Families?
Can Children Make Independent Decisions in Dysfunctional Families? © 2024 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. At least one state is considering the idea of allowing their…
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Top 12 Tips for Co-Parent Boundaries
When parents separate, their lives need more clearly defined boundaries for their sake and for the children. Two of the most important parenting skills are managing one’s own stress and modeling healthy adult relationship communication. Setting boundaries individually and jointly can protect children from situations when they might be exposed to too much of their parent’s distress and also show them that their separated parents can successfully manage their new lives.
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Foreword: The High Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide
By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Foreword from The High Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide by Megan Hunter and Andrea LaRochelleWhen I started reading The…
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Emotions are Contagious: From Child Alienation to Workplace Bullying to World Anxiety
Emotions are Contagious: From Child Alienation to Workplace Bullying to World Anxiety©2022 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.In many ways, the world runs on emotions. We…
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Teaching the 4 Big Skills™ to Your Child During Divorce
Teaching the 4 Big Skills™ to Your Child During Divorce©2020 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Divorce and separation are times of stress for both parents and children.…
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7 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People During this Crisis
7 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People During This Crisis©2020 Bill Eddy, LCSW, EsqHow are you doing during this homebound coronavirus crisis? We hope you’re…
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Understanding Polarization in Families, Groups, and Nations
Understanding Polarization in Families, Groups, and Nations ©2020 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.There is much talk today about polarization. Ironically, few people put…
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High Conflict Christmas In Two Homes Survival Guide
High Conflict Christmas in Two Homes Survival Guide ©2019 Andrea LaRochelle, RFMDo you feel like your children are *missing out* by not spending time with both…
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Managing Your Life with a High-Conflict Co-Parent
Managing Your Life with a High-Conflict Co-Parent©2019 Megan Hunter and Andrea LaRochelle How to get off the emotional roller coaster and understand triggers…
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A New Year and New Ways in Israel
<p style="white-space: pre-wrap;">We were truly fortunate and grateful to visit Israel, not once, but twice, in the past year. HCI co-founder <a href="/about/#bill-eddy">Bill Eddy</a> made the long trip to speak to a warm and friendly group of family law professionals on high-conflict behaviors in family court. On this trip, he was introduced to several dedicated professionals who work hard to serve families in their small, yet extraordinarily diverse and ever-changing country.</p>
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Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder in Family Law Cases
Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder in Family Law Cases©2018 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.The diagnostic manual of mental disorders (DSM-5) tells us that up…
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Family Law: 3 Theories of the High-Conflict Case
Family Law: 3 Theories of the High-Conflict Case©2017 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.I do a lot of consulting to family lawyers and their clients (often on the phone…
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Differences in Dealing with Borderline, Narcissistic and Antisocial Clients in Family Law
Differences in Dealing with Borderline, Narcissistic and Antisocial Clients in Family Law©2017 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.By now, most family law professionals know…
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Structure, Skills & Less Stress: How Courts Can Provide Structure for Learning New Skills
Excerpt from The Future of Family Court: Structure, Skills and Less Stress, Chapter 3: Structure & Accountability, by Bill Eddy, LCSW ESQStructure, Skills &…
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New Ways Parent-Child Talk: What to say to your children during this time of transition
New Ways Parent-Child Talk: What to say to your children during this time of transition ©2017 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. When parents separate, having a talk with…
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What Children Tell a Divorce Lawyer
What Children Tell a Divorce Lawyer ©2017 Shawn D. Skillin, Esq. Earlier in my career I did work for the court as Minor’s Counsel. I interviewed children and…
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6 Ways You Should Be Assertive in Family Court
© 2016 Bill Eddy, LCSW, EsqFamily court presents a difficult dilemma for reasonable people. If you act reasonably and use the cooperative problem-solving…
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Boundaries in Separation and Divorce
Boundaries in Separation and Divorce© 2016 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., CFLSWhen parents start living in two separate households, they need to redefine their…
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Taking the Assertive Approach in Family Court
© 2015 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Family court presents a difficult dilemma for reasonable people. If you act reasonably and use the cooperative problem-solving…
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1,000 Little Bricks Can Build a Wall of Child Alienation
© 2015 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Excerpted from the book Don't Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce by Bill Eddy,…
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10 Thoughts for Divorcing Parents
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Pat knew divorce was inevitable. It was a matter of WHEN? After the children are past the age of 5? 8? 10? 14? They had all…
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Why New Ways for Families® is Online
© 2014 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. New Ways for Families® for Separation and Divorce New Ways for Families® is a skills training method for potentially…
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Should I Just Let Go?
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.This blog is dedicated to coping with difficult communications and High-Conflict People. All too often, parents get caught up in…
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Hiring a Divorce Lawyer Who Understands High Conflict
©2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Excerpt from Chapter 7: Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality…
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Quick Tips for Controlling Communications with a Hostile Ex
© 2914 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Divorce, separation or ending any relationship is tough. It just plain hurts and it can be hard to eat, sleep, work or focus. If…
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The Future of Family Court: Pattern Analysis
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. [An excerpt from The Future of Family Court by Bill Eddy] For those who are unable to resolve their disputes by learning…
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Misunderstanding Family Systems in Today’s Divorces and Family Court
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Family systems theory has been around for decades, but there is little discussion of it today. Yet understanding how family…
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Parenting Coordination and Skills for High-Conflict Families
© 2014 by Megan Hunter, MBA, and Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.IntroductionParenting Coordination has been growing rapidly around the United States and other countries…
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Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)
© 2014 By Jodie Crump and Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Introduction by Bill Eddy: New Ways for Families®, developed as a project of High Conflict Institute, draws…
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Removing 90% of High Conflict cases from Family Court
© 2014 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. New Ways for Families® in Divorce From my travels giving seminars around the United States, Canada, Australia and other…
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Child Alienation: “1000 Little Bricks”
© 2013 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. [An excerpt from the book Don't Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce] In this…
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Thoughts on Shared Parenting Presumptions (Part 4/4)
Part 4 of Bill Eddy's series on whether family law should adopt a shared-parenting presumption — and how high-conflict dynamics complicate the debate.
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Thoughts on Shared Parenting Presumptions (Part 3/4)
© 2013 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Thoughts on Shared Parenting Presumptions (Part 3/4) Research It has been said that you can find research to support any…
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Thoughts on Shared Parenting Presumptions (Part 2/4)
© 2013 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Thoughts on Shared Parenting Presumptions (Part 2/4) Different Needs at Different Ages Birth to age 5: Generally, this is a…
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Can Borderlines Share Parenting?
Response to Article: Can Borderlines Share Parenting?© 2013 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.In 2010, when my book Don’t Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children…
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What to Tell the Kids About a High-Conflict Co-Parent
<p>Many parents have asked us about how to raise a child or children with a co-parent (whether a spouse, former spouse or unmarried partner) who is “high-conflict.” In other words, the co-parent frequently exhibits some or all of the following</p>
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Skills Before Decisions: Can Difficult Clients Learn Decision-Making Skills?
© 2013 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.This article proposes some solutions to recent concerns raised by family lawyers, counselors, mediators and judges. How do we…
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How is New Ways for Families® Different Than A Parenting Class?
© 2012 By Michelle Jensen, MSW, JD New Ways for Families® is a short term, structured counseling method for parents re-organizing their families after a…
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Coaching for BIFF Response®
© 2012 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. A BIFF Response® is designed to calm a hostile conversation. They can be written (or said) by anyone, although it takes practice…
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Thoughts on Shared Parenting Presumptions (Part 1/4)
© 2012 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Thoughts on Shared Parenting Presumptions (Part 1/4) A controversial issue today in family law is whether there should be a…
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4 Dilemmas in Family Court
4 Dilemmas in Family Court© 2012 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.I am writing this in response to a blog comment which raises some important concerns about family…
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Conclusion on a Shared Parenting Presumption
Bill Eddy's conclusion on adopting a legal shared-parenting presumption, and what it means for resolving high-conflict child custody disputes.
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Alienation Update
© 2012 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Several years ago I wrote an article on Calming the Alienation Debate, which later evolved into my book titled Don’t Alienate…
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The Need for Directive Counseling in High-Conflict Divorce
© 2012 By Stephen Carter, Ph.D., Registered Psychologist The end of many relationships can involve high emotions and hurt feelings but typically in time such…
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The Politics of Alienation
The Politics of Alienation© 2012 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.I just finished writing a book about child alienation (Don’t Alienate the Kids!), broadly defined as…
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New Ways in Canada for Separating and Divorcing Families
© 2012 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.On Jan. 24 and 25, I did a whirlwind tour of three cities in southern Alberta in Canada, training 60 judges in the New Ways for…
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Managing Personality-Disordered Parents
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. I just finished a two-day seminar on Managing Personality-Disordered Parents, sponsored by the AFCC (Association for Family and…
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HCI Pattern Analysis - for Parenting Disputes in Divorce
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq HCI Pattern Analysis™ is a powerful new software service that assists parents and professionals dealing with a high conflict…
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Why I Wrote Splitting
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. I started writing Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder…
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Splitting: Divorcing a Borderline or Narcissist
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Excerpted from Splitting... Borderline Abandonment Rage Mental health professionals are very familiar with the fear of…
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Managing High Conflict People in Court: The role of cognitive distortions
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. An excerpt from Managing High Conflict People in Court. Ideal reading for judges, lawyers, mediators, and anyone who is…
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Splitting: Blamers and Targets in High-Conflict Divorce
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Excerpted from Splitting: Preparing for a Difficult Divorce Preparing Yourself Sarah was scared. She didn’t know what to…
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Quick Start Guide (for Avoiding A High Conflict Divorce)
© 2011 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Randi Kreger(Excerpt from SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic…
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Splitting: high-conflict divorces in family court have increased
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Over the past several years, the family court system has received more and more public attention as the number of high-conflict…
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Splitting: Why We Wrote this Book
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. We met in 2002, when few people going through a divorce had heard of borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic…
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Splitting: Family-Court Facts Without Escalation
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Splitting : Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with a Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder We sincerely…
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Marriage Is Declining Rapidly! Does It Matter?
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. I read this week that there has been a significant decline in marriage rates, especially in the past two years. 57% of adults…
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New Ways for Families® Training
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. I just finished a 2-day “New Ways for Families®” training in Alberta, Canada, for the YWCA of Calgary. The YWCA just received a…
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Is your child rejecting one parent? (Part 3/3)
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. WHY DO ALIENATED CHILDREN FEEL SO STRONGLY? Alienated children generally show intensely negative emotions and an absence of…
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Is your child rejecting one parent? (Part 2/3)
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. IS THIS THE RESULT OF “PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME?” It is important to know that the courts across the country have not…
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Is your child rejecting one parent? (Part 1/3)
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.In divorce or separation, 10% - 15% of children express strong resistance to spending time with one of their parents – and this…
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Reducing Conflict During Divorce when a Spouse has a Personality Disorder
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, EsqI was recently interviewed by Deborah Moskovitch for Divorce Source Radio. Please give it a listen and offer any…
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Should there be a 50-50 Parenting Presumption in Divorce?
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.In general, I am a strong proponent of shared parenting, at least 70-30, and many of my clients have 50-50 shared parenting.…
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Huffington Post talked to HCI about High Conflict People and Divorce
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.Excerpted from the above article... Charlie Sheen keeps telling us he's special, but is he really that unique? We've read…
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10 Myths About High-Conflict Divorce
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. After working with divorcing families for over 30 years, first as a social worker and then as a family law attorney, I believe…
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Can Halle and Gabriel Share Nahla?
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Once again we have a famous couple starting to fight over raising their child. (See last week’s blog about Bristol and Levi.)…
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Parental Rights? Who cares?
© 2011 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.The news hubbub today is that Bristol Palin wants Levi Johnson, the father of their child Tripp, to just give up his parental…
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Does Ridicule Stop Alienation?
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. I just read about a recent high conflict divorce case in Ontario, Canada in the December 17th national paper, the Globe and…
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The Best Parenting Skills
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. I just finished reading an article about best parenting skills, based on a large research study, in the latest issue of…
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Dental Alienation
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. People have asked me how someone can alienate a child against someone else. Actually, it's easy. It only takes 10 steps and a…
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Should Parental Alienation be a Diagnosis?
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. I believe that some children are alienated against one of their parents for no specific appropriate reason. As a social worker,…
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Clear Court Orders for Shared Parenting
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. I’ve been asked to say more about clear court orders when a reasonable parent shares parenting with someone with a borderline…
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Can Narcissists Share Parenting?
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. In my last blog, I asked the same question about people with borderline personalities. Borderlines and narcissists seem to be…
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Is Alienation a One-Parent Issue?
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. In this article I am responding to a comment left to a previous article by a custody evaluator and parenting coordinator. It…
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My Alienation Blog
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. For the next few months, I’m going to be blogging about child alienation – the subject of my new book: Don’t Alienate the Kids!…
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The Reasonable Parent’s Dilemma
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. [Excerpts from the book Don’t Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High Conflict Divorce, © 2010 by…
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Is Family Court Broken?
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. In a recent TV show, Dr. Phil said the family court system is broken. He was referring to several cases in which a parent…
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New Book About Alienation Released
© 2010 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. After three years of hard work, I've finished my book, Don't Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High…
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Old Ways, New Ways: How “New Ways For Families®” Is Different
© 2009 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. After over 16 years as a family law attorney (Certified Family Law Specialist), preceded by 12 years as a therapist (Licensed…
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Don’t Use “Force”
© 2009 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. “I won’t force the children to go with the other parent,” is one of the statements I hear sometimes from parents going through…
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New Ways for Mediation℠
© 2009 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Mediating high-conflict disputes requires a more structured process than that used in most ordinary conflicts. This is especially…
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Handling Alienation in New Ways for Families®
© 2009 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. There is no issue more controversial and confusing in divorce than a child’s resistance or refusal to spend time with a parent…
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Handling Domestic Violence in New Ways for Families®
© 2009 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. The High Conflict Institute has developed a new method for handling high conflict family law cases, titled New Ways for…
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Time to Calm the Alienation Debate
© 2009 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.I just got back after a 7-day speaking trip ranging from New Orleans (state bar family law section), to Indianapolis (federal…
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Can We Afford High Conflict Divorces Forever?
© 2008 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. According to news reports, on December 24, 2008, Bruce Pardo dressed up as Santa Claus and killed his soon-to-be ex-wife, her…
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Dealing with Dilemmas in Collaborative Practice
© 2008 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Collaborative practice is riddled with dilemmas. One of the common ones is deciding whether we should take this case. “Is it…
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Lying In Family Court
© 2008 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. When I became a family law attorney/mediator after a dozen years as a therapist, one of the biggest surprises was the extent of…
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Attachment and Alienation
© 2008 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Two issues these days that are getting more attention in high conflict families are “attachment” and “alienation.” At High…
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Before You Go To Family Court
© 2007 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Make Sure You Have Realistic Expectations In Family Court, the judge will never really know what is going on in your case. The…
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Is Your Child “Alienated”?
© 2007 By Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. IS YOUR CHILD REJECTING ONE PARENT? In divorce or separation, 10% - 15% of children express strong resistance to spending time…
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Ten Thoughts For Divorcing Parents
© 2007 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Pat knew divorce was inevitable. It was a matter of WHEN? After the children are past the age of 5? 8? 10? 14? They had all tried…
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Evaluating Sexual Abuse Reports In Family Court
© 2007 Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. One of the most difficult issues which can confront parents, counselors, attorneys and judges is the concern that a child has been…